Attractiveness everyone wants it, lots of people think it is only physical, but there is way more to it than you think it is. Do you feel like a typical wallflower, quiet, not buying the newest fashion? As a girl do you maybe struggle to do your hair while you see other girls have the perfect haircut or curls? And you wonder how long it took them to apply makeup and do their hair to go out on a night while you are completely fine to put a pair of jeans on and one of your favorite tops? We all make a mistake to believe it is about the best outfit, the fittest body, the perfect hair and for us girls maybe the perfect makeup.
But increasing attractiveness and being an attractive person has not much to do with how we look like. I am not saying that the way you look has nothing to do with it, of course by any means wear beautiful clothes and take a bath but the physical attraction is only one part of being an attractive person.
So here is what makes you an attractive person:
Have eye contact
Make sure when you speak to a person that you have eye contact. We connect a lot through our eyes. Think about it! Our eyes express a lot of emotions. In the 90’s psychologist, Arthur Aron has done an experiment and study where he asked two strangers to answer 36 personal questions in front of each other and then look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes afterward. He found out that people create an intense connection and even fall in love with each other.
Be interested in the person you are talking to
It is very rare that you find someone who is truly interested in what you have to say. This world seems to be full of people with opinions and wanting to talk about themselves, but hardly anyone seems to listen. So if you are listening to someone, they feel you see them. Listening without an opinion or judgment is even better. We seem to want to fix a lot of people or give our opinion whereas a lot of us just wanted to talk and not being judged. If you are listener you are limited edition in this world it is that rare!
Kindness and I mean genuine kindness is something beautiful. A kind person is touching your heart. Again kind people do care about people, because very likely they know how it is when you are not treated with kindness. Kind people also never really get involved in drama or gossip. You feel safe with them; they build up trust a lot quicker.
Yes, I know, sounds very cliche. What I mean is that you do not attach your self-worth to what people are thinking about you. Sometimes people meet someone they are interested in, and then they suffocate any interest they might have in continually clinging onto them in texting every few minutes, making them the entire center of their attention and neglecting other friends. Making one person responsible for your self-worth is the most unattractive thing in the world.
Be you, be authentic
Sometimes we have in our head a very distorted image of who we think we need to be to be attractive. I know people who go to great length in creating almost someone they are not. If you like jeans and t-shirts and hate gowns, please do not feel you need to be someone else. The same thing counts for interests, education or anything you are identifying yourself with. Sometimes we believe to get the partner we want we have to morph into something we are not. Think about it! When you are not yourself, you definitely will not attract the people in your life who help you grow and support you. Plus it does not create attractiveness it creates stress.
Attractiveness is so much more; I am not saying that physically attractive people do not have all these traits above. Physical attractive people can sometimes go also through some form of bullying where people tell them that they are not deep enough and this breaks my heart. Attractiveness is not only skin deep; it goes deep; it truly shines from the inside out.