Stop Being a People Pleaser: The Art of Not Giving a Damn what People Think About You!

Stop Being a People Pleaser: The Art of Not Giving a Damn what People Think About You!

Are you a People Pleaser? Well, we all do it. We attach our self-worth to what people think about us and our actions. It can get so bad that we are living a life we do not want to live. We may be stuck in a job we do not like or have a circle of friends that are even toxic to us. You might not let go of things that do not belong to you because you are concerned what other people might think about you. The fear of being judged as the person who you are is also part of Social Anxiety.

If you are people pleaser you might do the following:

  • Neglect your own needs to help someone else and make someone else’s needs your priority.
  • Go to events you do not even want to go to.
  • Agree with statements which you usually are disagreeing with.
  • Do not set boundaries not to upset a person.
  • Stay in toxic relationships.
  • You always give and never receive back.

As a people pleaser you very likely feel and think like this:

  • You feel constantly drained.
  • There is no time to work on your dreams.
  • Who the hell are these friends who are never helping me?
  • Hate your job.
  • You are quiet but feel that you explode inside.
  • You feel disconnected from the people around you and believe you are from a different planet.

 

So how to not give a damn what other people think about you?

You are unique, you matter, you make an impact!

There is nobody like you on earth. I know it sounds very cliche. You are allowed to live a life you want; you are allowed to say NO. A statistic states that in our lifetime we meet face to face 80,000 different people in our life, you matter, you make a difference.

It holds you back and is very often not the truth.

Sometimes we take things far too personal. We believe a person does not like us or thinks we are a terrible person where in fact they go through some of their stuff, and their mood has nothing to do with you. If you spend too much time thinking about what other people think about you-you lose time for things you could do you enjoy and make your dreams come true. It is wasted time.

Why does it even matter?

Why does it even matter what other people think about you? We attach very often our self-worth or success to what other people think. With this, you give away your power. If someone talks bad about you, they are not your people! They are toxic; they are losers, they have the time to talk bad about people, stay away from them, do not even enter their energy. Very likely we care about what people think about us because we believe they can influence our lives, they either might destroy our dreams or maybe we think that they hold the key to our dreams. Check my article out about Emotional Blackmail; this will explain it a bit more. People never have the key to your happiness or success or your dreams in their hands. You have. People who judge you, talk bad about you or bully you are very likely people who are jealous of what you have.

Turn it around!

You never be able to please everyone. People pleasing is impossible, you will always have people who are not happy no matter what. Living on other people’s terms only leads to one thing and that is stress and not living who you truly are. You will never attract the people in your life who belong in your life. You end up living someone else’s life and with this comes depression, anxiety, frustration, and anger.

As a People Pleaser, you are not only harming yourself but also portrait a person you are not. Start cutting out stuff you dislike and give yourself room to implement things you like and want to have in your life. Work on loving yourself. It is freeing, and it is the only way to live a life you want to live.

About the author

Jennifer White Ad. Dip. Psych. is a global human potential thought leader, blogger, Psychological Therapist with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) skills, Life Coach and Public and Motivational Speaker. Jennifer White has experience in counselling and coaching people with substance misuse, anxiety and depression. She is currently working as a self-employed Psychological Therapist and Life Coach in her practice, helping people reaching their real potential. She holds public and motivational speeches and shared her ideas with other speakers on the stage of the Celebrate Your Life event in Arizona 2016. She runs successfully her self-development and self-help groups on- and offline.

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