Toxic people: How to Identify the Non-Obvious Ones?

Toxic people: How to Identify the Non-Obvious Ones?

I know, I know, I know. We heard it all before, get rid off toxic people aka energy vampires, fun sponges, negative ferrets, negative Nellys (I apologize in advance for anyone who is called Nelly) and God knows what other names are there for people who suck the life out of you. Next, to the bullies, angry people, people who have to criticise every single step you do there are also the non-obvious ones. These are the people who hold us back, make us doubt every move we make. The non-obvious toxic people is the wolf who hides underneath a sheepskin. They appear helpful and caring and fun but are very toxic for your personal growth. I detected them later in life but trust me you feel a lot better when you distance yourself from these kinds of toxic people.

 

How to identify non-obvious toxic people:

So here is the list of hidden toxic people you really should get rid off also. I know, I do not like to use the words “should”, “have to” or “must”, but I cannot highlight this enough. If you want to move forward in life and be happy, then you must let go of them.

The “Constant Updater”:

You just broke up with your partner and the “Constant Updater” keeps you updated on every move your Ex-partner makes. They call you, text you, tell you the latest gossip. Get rid of them; they feed on your pain, they hold you back to heal from the breakup and move forward.

The “Over Caring Friend”:

These are the people who tell you what you should do. They highlight everything in your life which is not perfect, your body, your job, your makeup, your clothes, anything, but always would say: You would feel so much better if……

The “Gossiper”:

These are the people who dislike the same people you do, similar to the Constant Updater, they will call you, message you or text you when they hear any bad gossip about the people you dislike. They hope that you are for hours on the phone to laugh about a misfortune of your common “enemies.”

The “Party-Animal”:

This person will make you feel bad when you are staying at home in your PJ’s on a Friday or Saturday night. They want you out. In worst cases, they give you the worst hangover you have ever dreamed off; these are the people who will love the weekends and lavish parties. They cost you a lot of money, well and a lot of dignity too when you find the next morning a not very flattering picture on Social Media from your night out.

The “Competitor”:

They could be your colleague, friend, even partner. They are in constant competition with you; they want to be better than you, look better, be quicker in hitting deadlines, cook better, have the better outfit, they put you into a competition with them without you even knowing.

The “I-do-not-want-you-to-change” person:

They have problems when you change, your job, your look, your opinions. Sentences like “You are amazing, do not change, you are perfect!’

 

Remove them mindfully:

Toxic people are sometimes not evident. We all have people like them in our lives and sometimes we have also been one of them. I am not saying that when a person behaves like this, that they need to be out of your life immediately, however, if they are continuously like this it is worth looking into removing them from your life. Happiness and being you is crucial. To live a life you truly love is living mindfully the way we want to live. Sometimes this means that we have to remove people from our lives or at least distance ourselves from them!

 

 

About the author

Jennifer White Ad. Dip. Psych. is a global human potential thought leader, blogger, Psychological Therapist with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) skills, Life Coach and Public and Motivational Speaker. Jennifer White has experience in counselling and coaching people with substance misuse, anxiety and depression. She is currently working as a self-employed Psychological Therapist and Life Coach in her practice, helping people reaching their real potential. She holds public and motivational speeches and shared her ideas with other speakers on the stage of the Celebrate Your Life event in Arizona 2016. She runs successfully her self-development and self-help groups on- and offline.

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