Toxic people, you know them, you got rid of them, and you finally are good in setting boundaries. But still sometimes toxic people enter your life, and you wonder: Why are those toxic people even entering my life?
Here is the massive and not-talked-about secret: You will never ever be able to stop toxic people entering your life.
Are you kidding?
No, and that is okay. It is not about stopping them from coming in; it is about identifying them quickly and showing them the way out.
Toxic people always will try it. They will try to push boundaries. You will meet them amongst friends, neighbors, colleagues, bosses, customers, partners. Sometimes people can turn toxic because they have to deal with something negative in their lives.
Is there no way to stop that happening?
Well, what you are actually changing is your response to toxic people. Because you learned how to set boundaries better, you will deal with them quicker. They very likely won’t enter your closest inner circle. Even if that happens, you will be able to deal with it much faster.
Why will I attract those people into my life?
See it like that; there are jealous people out there or people who look for a challenge. Sometimes we get introduced to toxic people because maybe a family member or friends invite them to our inner circle. At work, for example, we might get a new boss or colleague. Toxic people are toxic because they are not standing in their own power. There are so many different forms of toxic people that will enter your life, some of them are easier to avoid than others.
What if I am tired of toxic people coming into my life?
Then there is still something to learn. You might need to have a look at your boundary setting or why you give them too much attention and headspace. Find out where your control lies. If you have a toxic boss, find another job. If you have a toxic partner, leave the relationship. Very often we get tired because we give those toxic people too much room in our lives physically and mentally. That needs to stop.
Be grateful that they are still coming!
They definitely will teach us a lesson or two. First of all, you will be able to learn and practice your boundary setting. You also will develop something like a “Teflon Coating” which means you do not give a damn if a toxic person tries to challenge your boundaries. You deal with it, and any toxicity will just glide off on you. What happens here is that you will not focus on those people and give them your attention. You learned that there are far more important things in life than nurturing the behavior of toxic people. Embrace them, and I think most of the time we forget that sometimes we might have been toxic ourselves.
Life is a journey to find ourselves. Enjoy the lessons on this journey, relax and embrace them. Because far too often we forget that there is hell of a lot of positivity and positive and nurturing people in our lives and they deserve all of our attention.
You of course also can listen to my podcast about this topic: